Dear Readers,

Least you think I do not possess an opinion, I give you…

 

Some of my pet peeves:

 

  • Being ‘late’. I have a girlfriend who couldn’t be on time if her tits were on fire.

  • Coming up with an idea in a ‘volunteer’ situation and then pawning it’s execution off on others. Maybe that works at church but we are a long way from martyrdom in my Kingdom.

  • Showing-up at the last minute and making changes to the game plan. Ben used to come home from a week out of town and tell me how he wanted the kids disciplined. What a comedian.

  • Asking for assistance and not being prepared. Tyler recently asked me for a lift to his abandoned car, and forgot the keys. Yesterday, he asked me for a lift to go see another car he was thinking of purchasing, and forgot the plates off of the car that he had forgotten the keys to. Do you see where I’m going with this?

  • Making everything about ‘you’. Like the people at a flight gate that berate the airline associate at the counter for a plane delay because it affords them the opportunity to affirm their belief that the world revolves around them, and only them. Bathing in the ‘oneness’ of personal persecution can be so affirming. I agree. You are an ass.

  • Small-minded neighbors. Last year I  wanted to construct a glass greenhouse on our property. Our neighbors said ‘no’. They thought it would interfere with their view (Of the side of another neighbor’s house?). Recently they asked for my permission to enlarge their second floor deck. Pay backs are a bitch. My bitch wants a greenhouse.

  • Being schooled in the error of my ways- period, but especially from strangers because I didn’t know that cigarettes are bad for you. I need to be reminded, so that’s why I’m lighting up another okay?

 

And in closing…

 

 

  • Using the word ‘Correct’ after being asked for an opinion. Really?

 

 

Like I need your affirmation.

 

 

Maybe thatPINIMAGE



  • Lynda@fitnessmomwinecountry - Cheryl, laughing as I read this. Pet peeve…on time! Yes,and yes. Lateness drives me nuts. I agree with your list and am adding small things like when I let a car pull out of a driveway or shopping area or parking spot…a wave of “thank you” would be much appreciated. :) Love the postReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Ohh yessssss. I forgot all the transportation peeves. How about when your waiting for a spot with your blinker on and some ass rolls up and swoops in? I get our of the car for that one.ReplyCancel

  • Jessica - YES! Except, cigarette smoke is one of mine. But I only really mind when I can’t open my windows on a gorgeous day, for fear of an asthma attack (my neighbors have to smoke right outside my window). All about me, baby! ;)ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I would never smoke outside your window- in the bathroom with the vent on, maybe. HAHAHAAReplyCancel

  • Tammy - Such a short list. I could (and have) go on and on. Being late is a huge one for me. Why don’t they just come out and tell me that I’m not important enough for them to be on time?! Not okay! Am SO jumping on your bandwagon with all of these. Laughing all the way to the common sense aisle of life!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - My great Aunt Jenny used to say, ‘I don’t know why they call it Common Sense? Not many people have it.” I love that!ReplyCancel

  • Doreen McGettigan - I agree with all of your pet peeves, absolutely! I especially hated when anyone would tell me how bad smoking was for me. I did finally quit, on my own terms when I wanted to but I will never be ‘that’ non-smoker. I love when my friends smoke in my car:)ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Really? I’ll be right over. Hahahaaaa. Thanks for showing up her today Doreen. I appreciate it!ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - Wow, you smoke? (laughing) Oh, this has to be my favorite post of the morning. Thank you!ReplyCancel

  • Anne Louise Bannon - I can’t stand narrow-mindedness of any kind. Someone was trying to tell me I needed to focus more – kind of like telling you not to smoke. Yeah, I would focus if I could. It’s so frustrating when folks try to remake you in their image.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Yes- that’s what it is! Trying to mold someone in your likeness! To accommodate their sensibilities. Who exactly do they think they are? Jesus?ReplyCancel

  • Helene Cohen Bludman - Oh yes, I share those pet peeves and I could double your list with some choice ones of mine.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - My list could have been longer but I had to answer the door bell- for Jehovah Witnesses. Do you see where I’m going with this?ReplyCancel

  • Mari Collier - At least two of them I could go on and on about. I hate being late and people being late. At my age, I can no longer eat a two pound steak ( a one pounder might take three), I can’t drink three cocktails and have wine with a meal when dining out anymore,. All I can handle is three or four ounces of wine. My husband has passed away which means no hugs and no sex, and you want me to quit smoking too? Hah! Feel better already. Thanks, Cheryl.ReplyCancel

  • Nancy Hill - I’m glad I couldn’t have been the one to tick you off! Creative paybacks are the worst. Loved your griping by the way!ReplyCancel

  • Diane - Lateness is my #1. And most of the other follow in roughly the same order. I don’t smoke, but you can often find steam coming from my ears . . .ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I’ll take it Diane. PS: Always wonderful to see you here.ReplyCancel

  • Stop Giving It Away - I love your title, “Elegant Decay In Midlife”. I admire your irreverence. Did you really tell your neighbor “no” to the deck?ReplyCancel

  • Linda Roy (elleroy was here) - BINGO! on all counts. #1 – LMAOReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Hey there Lady!! I’m sure the two of us could think-up a few more!ReplyCancel

  • Vashti Quiroz-Vega - Hi Cheryl! You are hysterical. I agree and share all those pet peeves. I’m rooting for that greenhouse. ;)ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Rooting for the Greenhouse! YES!!!! Just ‘rooting’ period!!! Thanks Vashti. Great seeing you!! XXXOOOReplyCancel

  • Kristi Bennett - Hi Cheryl, Just found your blog and this post. In the words of Arnold Shwartzahoweveryouspellit, “I’ll be back”. Love it. I have a friend that likes to tell me how bad diet coke is, so I make a point to drink a 6 pack while at lunch. I like to shock her system.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Oh yes. That’s great!!! There is a wife of a corporate ‘guest’ that we host who is always espousing the evils of sugar. I make it a point to have lots of sweets and ONLY sugar in the house when they visit. She makes it sooooo easy. Ha!ReplyCancel

  • April - The neighbor one. Sigh. I have a story about a yellow door and a boring neighbor.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Oh yes. I have those too. And fences, and music, and holiday lites, and too many cars in the driveway…. the list goes on and on and…. the world is full of them- small asshats that is.ReplyCancel

 

 

cherylguesteditorclose-upPINIMAGE

 

 Once upon a time (1978) in a sleepy little fiefdom (Kent) in the land of Ohio, lived a  fair maiden (me) who toiled at mastering her craft (Graphic Design) amongst the jolly boys (gays) and evil sheriffs (nasty gay professors) who attempted to thwart her every contribution (portfolio reviews) and banish her from their castle (department).

 

They (two professors in particular) felt their domain was not a place for a GIRL. I kid you not.

 

The maiden, however, felt differently, and went and won a national art contest in spite of them.

 

‘So THERE, ya big assholes’, could be heard around the world.

 

Mademoiselle Magazine

is looking for

entries

in it’s annual competition for

Guest Editorships in NYC.

 

 

 

Yes, she was chosen as one of 14 (out of thousands) to come hither out of the bailiwick of mediocrity and receive senior year credit as a contributor to the (then) modern-day bible of fashion, not as a copy editor, not as the fiction & poetry editor, not as the career editor, no no nooooooo…but as the associate FASHION editor- in a FASHION magazine.

 

Score one for the girls.

 

When the evil sheriffs received the news they were s-t-u-n-n-e-d.

 

‘What have you done? And how could you do this without our help?’, they spit through thousands of dollars of orthodontic intervention and faces that reddened under a tub of bronzer.

 

‘Help? What help? Ever?’, was her reply, as she ran a perfectly manicured red lacquered fingernail over the certified Congratulations letter.

 

‘This can’t be possible’.

 

‘Oh, it’s w-a-y past possible. It’s done. And the University President is just thrilled, though a bit confused as to why your department hasn’t signed-off on my portfolio yet when Conde Naste Publishing has such confidence in my work. ‘Ya may have to do that soon’.

 

So off she went in her carriage (airplane) to live in a castle (apartment in the Barbizon Hotel), eat Big Apples (Le Cirque), scale the towers of Gotham (Madison Ave.), dance the night away (Studio 54), make a few new friends (Perry Ellis), and even do a little work, all with her magic bag (black velvet) under her wing (vintage Chanel coat) and the wind at her back- for exactly two months- before the fairy dust cleared and she realized that all of the things she had been reading, and believing in, and charting her course by between the pages of a ‘glossy’ were just made-up, willy-nilly, around a big table by a slew of unhappy poorly paid people that had access to really good tickets but couldn’t pay the rent.

 

It was time to go home.

 

 

Sometimes you just have to write your own ending.

 

 

Modeling in the September 1979 issue of Mademoiselle Magazine. PINIMAGE

Modeling in the September 1979 issue of Mademoiselle Magazine.

 

 

My Before & After published in August 1979 Mademoiselle Magazine.PINIMAGE

My Before & After published in August 1979 Mademoiselle Magazine.



  • Cary Vaughn - This was fantastic!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Why were those gay men so mean to me, I want to know??? Insights?ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - I want more! Tell us more about what it was really like, and how you came to your disappointment–inquiring minds really want to know!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - So your saying you want ‘details’?ReplyCancel

  • Mary - Loved this! Congratulations on such an accomplishment. I want more, I want every detail.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Details might get me sued. *wink*ReplyCancel

  • Sue - Wow, loved it from start to finish. Definitely want more too.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - EeeGads… okay. But only because YOU asked Sue.ReplyCancel

  • Princess Rosebud - Need any Devil Wears Prada stories!ReplyCancel

  • Mari Collier - Fantastic makeover. Love how you did that. Oh, I once was a receptionist at John Robert Powers (when it was still a powerhouse) in Phoenix. I was allergic to their makeup, but I did learn how to put it on if I ever want to look really good for a few hours before the rash takes over. Sorry you had your dreams dashed. How many young people hung on is what I wonder. Your experiences are fascinating.ReplyCancel

  • Ruth Curran - I love your stories so Cheryl! Next installment in the life and times of the Fair Maiden coming soon?ReplyCancel

  • Nancy Hill - I’m chiming in on the wanting more from you per your stories from inside a fashion magazine and the fashion industry!ReplyCancel

  • Kim Tackett - 1979 I was working in the advertising department for an alternative newspaper in Chico, CA. I was the only one who shaved my legs. Kind of different, but the same. Love your story!ReplyCancel

  • Diane - So interesting!
    And ditto to the ‘I want more’!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I’ll have to change the names of the living so I don’t get death threats+ a law suit.ReplyCancel

  • Gary Sidley - I guess it’s all part of life experience that has moulded you into the person you are today – I’ll let you provide the descriptors!.
    Around the same time (1978) my dreams of becoming a professional footballer (soccer player) were being dashed. Life can be such a bitch.ReplyCancel

  • Pia Savage - That must have been amazing. I think NY in the 1970’s–mid 80s was the greatest place on earth but I’m prejudiced as
    I lived on East 63rd off Fifth then. When The Barbizon became coed it had a great bar for awhileReplyCancel

  • Kathleen O'Donnell - How fun and awesome is that? Hope you rode your white steed (hot man) into your castle (Studio 54) and were worshiped by the serfs (drag queens).ReplyCancel

  • Linda - What Carol said. More! Dish it, lady. ;)ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - DISH DISH DISH that’s all I’m hearing! Okay. If I protect the names of the living maybe I could pull something off…ReplyCancel

  • julie - I read this on Mamapedia. The thought occurred to me, is it fun to piss off the stupid people? I think it might be. I can’t believe how rude people can be, and I felt bad for the mean things that were said, which is why I thought about poking the hornets nest. Just cause I can. I resisted. How grown up of me!

    I applaud your article and I am happy to see that you did it despite your lack of guidance from the people you employed to help educate you.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Well, thank you! It’s funny you should say ‘you employed to help educate you’ because, really, thats’ what is is isn’t it? Some people and professions aren’t on the up-n-up about what their agenda is. And money (tuition) and time are a finite commodity. ps: I love poking the hornets nest. *wink* Stop by anytime!ReplyCancel

 

I love a new year: It’s an opportunity to lie to myself once more (and I’m nothing if not self delusional so I’m really good at this).

 

 

I feel powerful, like I can take charge of my destiny (again and again and again- ironic).

 

This year I’m starting with un-following all sorts of people on social media. I know this may be a bold move since what really seems to fill the bottomless pit of societal self-loathing is the ‘number’ of fake ‘friends’ you have through a disingenuous Seven Steps of Separation(ism) instead of actual friendships, but I’m more old-fashioned then I thought and actually would like to have met you before you share your intimate bedroom secrets (of which I could not care less about or feel more sorry for you) or photos of every new hair style you torture yourself me with.

 

If you would still like to read my musings in this blog, may I suggest you actually FOLLOW the blog.

 

The second item on my hit list this year will be un-subscribing to a whole crap-bag of crap that somehow crap in my email. I do not want another “Let’s see what’s happening at Good Housekeeping Magazine!’ in my box or crime blasts from a city neighborhood that I had an airport layover in, and by which I had to log-on to ‘public’ internet to get to my in-box and find all of this shit in the first place.

 

Thirdly, I will no longer be giving money to the homeless guys at the street corner. They have begun showing up and clocking in. Some even keep supplies in the bushes. Some are in lounge chairs with umbrella’s above them (and in their drinks). For some this is beginning to look like a career choice instead of being a down-on-your-luck kind of thing. Besides, my car got tossed last week and all my ‘charity change’ got lifted- by a homeless guy, who also stole my bike. A bike with two flat tires so I guess I showed him.

 

Also, I am striking against pretending to understand anyone who can not properly enunciate English words, when they have obviously been born and raised in the good ‘ole U.S. of A. No longer will I feign innocence, or being inattentive, when I am told my total purchase price is ‘fee-nye-on’ ($50.91). I will simply state, in perfect English, ‘I am from Denmark and do not speak your language. Can we call a manager to help us through this transaction?’, at which point I will be asked ‘Da mark who girl? Wha’ place?’ and I will respond, ‘Cleveland’. This will illicit all sorts of knowing looks, bobbing heads, and a sense of camaraderie.  God Bless our public school system.

 

 

In addition, I will stand my ground when Tina, at Jung’s Golden Dragon, insists I ‘makey a mistake’ with my order for F13  because,’ Misses, you alway do P4 and we make good for you with luck’, and then I say, ‘No.No. No Tina. I’m changing my regular order tonight. I’m changing it up’, and she says, ‘We no make change. Need credit card’.

 

Fuck it. P4 it is.

There’s always next year.

attackcatPINIMAGE

 



  • Ellen Dolgen - You are HILARIOUS! Love this one!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - And YOU are fabulous Ellen! Happy New Year my friend!ReplyCancel

  • Carollynn - I hate it when other’s decide they know what I want better than what I want.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Tina’s just a little lady who only knows a few words in English but can stir-up a mean Mandarin Duck!ReplyCancel

  • Jessica - Yes, yes, and more yes! I already started cleaning up my social media… ahhhh! I know no one cares about my boring life, either, so it’s all good. But this blog, I will definitely continue to follow. :)ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Thank you Jessica. You are appreciated and Happy New Year!ReplyCancel

  • Cary Vaughn - And I plan to be more open and honest about my feelings. I’ll see how long that will last as by February, I will be pretty alone as a result.
    Much love to you!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Why will you be alone? You still have me!ReplyCancel

  • David Stillwell - I am from Denmark… bitch I spit out my tea through my nose…ReplyCancel

  • Ines Roe - I love your idea of the social media go round and the email clutter – I may have to follow suit in order to simplify.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I thought all this technology was supposed to make living more streamlined? Where did I get it wrong?ReplyCancel

  • Lisa Taylor - Lol – I love a New Year’s list with the word “attack” in it!ReplyCancel

  • Lois Alter Mark - You go, girl! Can’t wait to see how your new year attack plays out! I will definitely be following along.ReplyCancel

  • Elaine Ambrose - I laughed out loud several times. Too funny.ReplyCancel

  • Mhaire Fraser - Fair enough, life is too short to deal with this stuffReplyCancel

  • Marianne Joyce - Love this! I have unsubscribed to so many emails from various organizations wanting money or to “keep me informed” and saved myself so much time deleting crap I wasn’t even reading! Lol! Why did I take so long to do that??? I realized it took more time to delete them than to unsubscribe!ReplyCancel

  • Janie Emaus - You are too funny! But true. I was on some mission to get 1000 likes on my FB page before the end of the year. I was acting insane an then I took a deep breath and realized how crazy it was.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - That really is crazy- I’ve done it too. HA!ReplyCancel

  • Mari Collier - I really need to unsubscribe to a tech site my daughter visited while seeing what was the best price for a router for her mother. I should also unsubscribe from a clothing store that I have no intentions of ever buying anything. The same goes for a online shoe store. I don’t dare buy shoes without trying them on. They lie about sizes. Why would people talk like that? Are you really in the South? That doesn’t sound like the Southern accents I knew so many years ago.ReplyCancel

  • Whitney Lang Fleming - Hilarious! I so am trying to unsubscribe to stuff but it never seems to end!ReplyCancel

  • Rosalind Warren - Good luck with all of this! I hope it works out for you. So what’s in P4 anyway?ReplyCancel

  • Roshni - You can’t bargain with Tinas!! :D
    I love that you have a firm resolution in place about getting unnecessary crap out of your life!!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - It seems like no matter what I do more CRAP keeps coming in! It’s a full time job. EeeGads.ReplyCancel

  • Kathleen O'Donnell - Good luck unsubscribing. I’ve unsubscribed to countless junk emails yet they still appear. It’s a conspiracy.ReplyCancel

  • Gary Sidley - And there’s me thinking you might be interested in my intimate bedroom secrets … …ReplyCancel

Who among us didn’t LOVE The Sound of Music? (well, those of you my age)
     Scrappy young Maria, so innocent, so beautiful. 
     What a passive aggressive hottie- the perfect postulant- or is she? 
     Thankfully she’s guided by the wise Mother Abbess (who I suspect had been around the block a few times before joining the convent) to explore the outside world before committing  (I think the Mother could run Dr. Phil out of town on this alone).
     It’s arranged for her to governess a brood of amazingly gorgeous and talented children, in a lake side mansion, which is home to the handsome and passionate (but stedfast) widower Captain von Trapp. 
     They fall in love, develop a world-class family singing act (which they use to thwart the Nazis), get married, have great sex, and escape to the USA (with the children, of course. This is 1940. Today- ?).
     Can you say ‘God Bless America’? 
     One of my favorite songs, when I was little, was My Favorite Things.
     I’m all grown up, and have changed the verse to better express the times.
     It goes something like this:

      Vendex on roses and micro-chiped kittens
Worthless brown pennies and micro-fiber mittens
Brown paper packages hiding good gins
These are a few of my favorite things
 
Cream colored molars and genetically altered streudels
Doorbells and wack jobs and gluten in noodles
Grey Goose that flies in my mouth as it sings
These are a few of my favorite things
 
Girls in white zip-thongs with tramp stamp ‘me’ sashes
Snowflakes that stay on my windshield and eyelashes
 Wars that melt into Arab springs
These are a few of my favorite things
 
When the dog stings
When the bee bites
When I’m feeling mad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad
 
(Repeat)
-or not.
 
 



  • Molley Mills - Cute! The sound of Music is my little one’s favourite too!
    Thanks for hooking up to the Hump Day Hook UpReplyCancel

  • Cheryl Nicholl - Did you hear the music? Sometimes I crack MYSELF up! My pleasure Molley.ReplyCancel

  • Lucy Ball - Wow. Now you’ve got me making up my own verses! That was genius. Your pictures are absolutely gorgeous. But you know that. Right? ;-)ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl Nicholl - It was sorta genius wasn’t it. I’m like that. And PS: I left a piece of my heart in a recent post where you asked for… (I don’t want to finish this sentence here- but you know what I mean).xxxooo and please Pm me any time you need to scream. Eeegads. I’ve said too much.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - *wink*ReplyCancel

  • Kathleen O'Donnell - Cheryl, you are a clever girl! So funny. I hope you and yours are having a fantastic holiday season. How could you not in that fabulous city?ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - You too Kathleen! Happy Holidays!!ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - Clever! don’t hate me but less than 2 weeks ago I was floating down the Danube on a Viking cruise, passing through Austria & watching the Sound of Music in my cabin. Do, a deer!ReplyCancel

  • Mari Collier - Love the ditty. Merry Christmas!ReplyCancel

  • Sue - Ray, a drop of golden sun – that’s you! Loved the new song and Merry ChristmasReplyCancel

In the tradition of the season, I would like to present my version of the English Christmas Carol 
 
The Twelve Days of Christmas.
 
*So as to not make you egg nog crazy, I will start at the finale. And don’t forget to hum the song as you read, with emphasis on the bold text.
 
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…12 thousand dollars. For a full facelift.
 
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… 11 chairs-a-Piping. Please don’t lose my fabric.
 
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… 10 Lords-a-Leaping. LOVE the personal shopper.
 
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… 9 Ladies Dancing. Husbands are at home.
 
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… 8 Maids-a-Milking…. I’ve got nothin’ people.
 
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… 7 Swans-a-Swimming. One of them is me. (Delusion is another gift, sadly omitted from the original version). 
 
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… 6 Geese-a-Laying. Childbirth‘s a blast.
 
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… 5 Golden Rings (da da da), which is so yesterday. Platinum  is the new black, and diamonds would be appreciated. Get on it.
 
4 Colly Birds. Colly birds? I always thought this was ‘calling‘ birds. It should be calling birds. What the hell is a Colly bird anyways? googlegooglegoogle It’s a blackbird. They are loud! Okay. I guess it’s alright. Proceed.
 
3 French Hens. Or three french men.
 
2 Turtle Doves. Bringing two Dove Bars.
 
AND A …
 
Partridge In A Money Tree.
(Come on. You know you want one).
 
PINIMAGE
Or a Xmas tree, with really pretty decorations- like this frosted
fir which better have lots of coins attached to it Santa.
PINIMAGE
And this peaceful church, where I go to repent- often.
PINIMAGE
And these glass mushrooms- which look oddly familiar.
PINIMAGE
And lastly, but not leastly, the charming snowmen. And they’re all men because no woman
would venture out into the cold without a decent fur coat.
Idiot men.
(I mean Snowmen)
 
 
 



  • Cary - I’ll be damned. Really? Colly birds? Never knew. I now feel like I was lied to in my childhood.ReplyCancel

  • Bianca @ Track Pants and a Tot - Hi from Bloppys. I thought it was Calling Birds too! I liked how you added the bada da dum after 5 golden rings :)ReplyCancel

  • Rich Rumple - There are times I wonder about you. Then I just sit back, smile a little, and laugh my ass off! Okay, you don’t need a facelift, forget about laying eggs, and the ring’s in the mail (but you know how mail does get lost this time of year, lol) Love it!ReplyCancel

    • A Pleasant House - Aahhhh Rich- you’re so sweet! I love it when a man worries about me. Especially if jewelry is involved and I’ve got an ‘in’ with the postmen.ReplyCancel

  • Shannon Bradley-Colleary - Your musical prowess intimidates me. I’m off to take humming lessons.ReplyCancel

  • Walker Thornton - Very creative! Might have to give the song a try myself!ReplyCancel

    • A Pleasant House - I could write this song about 100 different ways- each one becoming progressively more NOT politically correct.ReplyCancel

  • bookworm - Colly birds? Who knew? I’ve been singing the wrong lyrics for 61 years now? I demand a refund.ReplyCancel

    • A Pleasant House - Exactly. Our parents, and the great American playbook, lied to us. I think a refund with interest is in order!ReplyCancel

  • William Kendall - Colly birds?

    A good variation on a song I find insufferable. It’s the endless repeating of everything in the previous verses that makes it drag on forever.

    There is one more annoying Christmas tune that comes to mind though: Feliz Navidad.ReplyCancel

    • A Pleasant House - So true. Jose Feliciano was a genius at mind numbing can’t-get-it-out-of-your-head songs. I can think of a few others, as well. Like Santa Baby. Awful.ReplyCancel

  • Teri - I simply love your thought processing!!! Such a fabulous mindset…….I was lied to as well and since I am single, for the fifth day, I just bought my own diamonds – no rings because I garden, just Chocolate diamond earrings and a matching necklace…….just because. The three French men, I left in Paris but I will return to get them……….now abut those blackbirds…………………….Thank You for t his wonderful read!!!ReplyCancel

    • A Pleasant House - I love your thought processing too! Let’s see: Lied to, single and purchasing your own diamonds (good girl), I garden too!, French men, oui! You checked all my boxes! Brilliant! Thanks for stopping by Teri! I’d love to see more of you!ReplyCancel

  • Vashti Q-Vega - Hello Cheryl! This was hilarious and fun! I love your pictures too. Have a great night.

    VashtiReplyCancel

  • Bryan Jones - I too have always believed it was ‘Calling Birds’ – I assumed this was a reference to prostitution. Thanks for shattering my 55-year misconception!

    Enjoyed the seasonal post. You have a distinctive (and delightful) way with words.ReplyCancel

    • A Pleasant House - Prostitutes!? Really? Wait a minute…. it could be prostitutes,,, calling ‘Birds’….And it #4. Between French ‘Hens’ and those golden rings…. So the Hens are the pimps and the rings refer to payment…..Holy Shit! You’re right! It IS PROSTITUTES! Awesome!!!!ReplyCancel

  • The Shitastrophy - 1 – WTF colly birds? totally should be Calling and I will continue to say Calling.
    2 – love the Christopher Radko snowmen my fancy friend
    3 – Maids a Milking – I say they are at the bar slamming white russians.

    Merry Christmas!ReplyCancel

    • A Pleasant House - I’m loving the White Russian idea! I could use one now as I sit in a cold Midwest university parking lot as the driver for our daughter who is interviewing for Vet school. Three days ago Mexico. Today Ohio. Feeling the need for a lot of holiday cheer in this weather. Merry MerryReplyCancel

  • Pothys - An Edwardian lady in full dress was a wonder to behold, and her preparations for viewing were awesome.silks sareeReplyCancel

  • Sue - Love it so much! I wonder why people wanted black birds for Christmas back in the day? They are not on my list, but 7 maids-a-cleaning would be nice and I’ll take some golden rings, but I’ll probably just get ringing in my ears. Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday Cheryl.ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - 3 Frengch men? and I don’t know, I’d like some maids…maybe not to milk but to do other things, right? Like vacuum.ReplyCancel

  • Sharon Greenthal - Totally agree about the diamonds. I mean, seriously.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Yes. Seriously. Like a heart attack. Drape me in them when I’m gone.ReplyCancel

  • Jessica - Ha ha! I could use someone a-milkin’ because my kid drinks so darn much of it. And $12,000 sounds good to me, too… I could find some good uses for that. ;)ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Oops. Did I say 12K? I meant 12 million. Gotta dream big!ReplyCancel

  • Lynda@fitnessmomwinecountry - Cheryl, I love this. I also thought forever {until today} that it was “calling birds”…wow, no one ever corrected me LOL
    Your ornaments are beautiful and remind me of my childhood trees with my grandparents :) Happy holiday seasonReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Thanks Lynda! Colly birds. Can you believe it?????ReplyCancel

  • Linda - Holy crap! “Colly birds”? There’s another song lyric I’ve had wrong all along.
    Maids a milking…haha…anybody have the number of a good lactation specialist?

    Your tree looks gorgeous. I especially like the little church ornament. So pretty.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Which makes me wonder what OTHER lyrics I’ve had wrong all these years- certainly most of Led Zepplin. And probably the Beatles White ALbum.ReplyCancel

  • Sue Pekarek - I tried to do this in my head the other day, but came up empty and gave up..so now why didn’t I think of this?! Thank you for the colly bird line, Seinfeld minds need to know, and I’ll continue singing calling birds.ReplyCancel

  • Lois Alter Mark - Ha! This seems like a much more relevant version of the traditional Christmas Carol!ReplyCancel

  • Rosalind Warren - You’ve got to be kidding. Colly birds? I’m 60 years old, I’ve heard that song about a million times, and I never actually knew the lyrics?? Sheesh. Although my FAV line is “… diamonds would be appreciated. Get on it.” :)ReplyCancel

  • Roshni - I always found that gift-giving to be really weird!!
    You have some very unique ornaments for your tree, Cheryl! Love them all!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Don’t you ‘give gifts’ ? Roshni you must- for some celebration. I’d love to hear more about your point-of-view on this. Pm me.ReplyCancel

  • GypsyNester-Celebrating Life After Kids - I always thought that was calling birds too. Learn something new every day!ReplyCancel

  • Janie Emaus - I always thought it was calling birds,too!ReplyCancel

  • Mari Collier - I’ve often wondered about those calling birds.ReplyCancel

  • Carolann - Funny, that was always my favorite Christmas song and never knew it was colly bird lol. Love it!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Everyone’s mind is blown! Not least of all mine! Who knew?ReplyCancel

  • Wendy Walker Cushing - Hahaha! I love your version! I also really love the snowman joke!ReplyCancel

  • Author Shelly Arkon - This was funny…childbirth is a blast! Hahahahaha!ReplyCancel

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