Blogging Baloney & Cheese

       I’ve only been at this Bloggy thing for a little over a year.
     It’s been mostly fun and rewarding: I actually have a few readers, and some of them take the time to comment.
     I’ve run into a few blogs that I really like. They have good ideas, or skills, or an interesting ‘voice’.
     They publish beautiful photography, or make me laugh.
     They offer interesting recipes, or gardening advise.
     But the vast majority make me wince a bit.
     They are mostly self-grandiose BALONEY.
     That’s right- I’m calling it.
     A really bad, smelly sandwich.
     I mean, it seems like the i-cloud is full-up with crap.

     Here are some examples:

The I’m So Good You Don’t Exist Blogger
     The most popular bloggers (read: have an entry on Wikipedia) NEVER reply to comments. In fact, they just sort of ‘recycle’ old posts. Probably because they are very busy on their book tours (which is great- more power to them. I actually own a few of those books), but rude, no matter who you are. And people keep coming back to comment-again & again (are they hoping for a reply?). And I love that every so often, they will post a note to readers saying,”I love you and I couldn’t have done this without you” but “I just can’t keep up with all my awesomeness.” 
     Yea- that’s ‘awesome’.

The I’m Just Blogging To Make Money- Badly Bloggers
     They will have sites that are so monetized that you’d think you’re on the Target website in China.
     I can not find my way around! The Ads are EVERYWHERE. It’s like a forest of hyperlinks. Some even have a Paypal tab if you’d like to contribute to their pocketbook, or a ‘Give-a-Gift’ list ’cause they are really hankering for that new skillet advertised at Bed Bath & Beyond. 
     And they want you to buy it for them.

The I’m A Blogger Who Actually Does Not Write- Much Blogger
    These are the people who post about every season change, but did everything they knew how to do to get you to follow them in the first place.
     I’ve actually emailed some of these people to ask if everything was OK with the same response, “Oh  Yea. I’ve just been busy. But don’t you dare unfollow, ‘ya here!” 

The I Have So Much To Say About Nothing Blogger
     This rare breed, is, unfortunately, not rare at all. 
     For the love of God, do you really think someone is going to take 20 minutes out of their day just to read about your experience at walking across a room? And it’s NOT funny- unless you fall down and land in a puddle of dog poo.

The I Make Lists Blogger
     They are often funny.
     They are easy to read.
     They are even easier to comment on (just pick a number).
     They are perfect for the current 10 second United States attention span.
     But they must be hard to write: The lists always have ’10’ and that’s a lot of work at funny- except it’s not- always funny, or interesting or pertinent, because the list is constraining isn’t it? And, there’s only one blogger that does this well, and she should be the only allowed to do this. You know who you are.

The I Am A Real Friend Blogger
     Unless we have broken bread together, we are all virtual friends- pen pals at best. I just read a post where the author referred to her life as ‘on-line’ like that was a good thing. 

The I’m Having A Breakdown Blogger
     If you’re having a breakdown, of any kind, for the love of God, take a break and get your shit together. 
     But, don’t tell me you’re ready to jump off the edge and ask me (and others) to guest post so that you can come back in three weeks, with no sign, or mention, of trauma, but you do have a new site, book deal, and guest shot on a cable show. 
     Fool me once…

And, lastly, the famous, and ever resilient

Bait And Switch Blogger
     They are A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! 
     One week they are all, “I know I’m not good enough”, “My readership has gone down”, “Please share me”, “I just feel like a failure”, “I have principals and am not going to ask for votes- I’m DONE with that.”
     And, the next, they’re begging, flooding your in-box with crap, and hocking their site like a Persian rug salesman at a flea market bazaar. 

     So, let’s recap. We have the narcissist, the overexposed capitalist, the absent blogger, the I like to hear myself talk you into a coma cocktail guest, the OCD sufferer, the backstabbing mean girl, the office co-worker that is always in the throes of an illness, and the hypocrite.

     Funny thing is, I’m not any of those things, and yet, I’ve probably done them all. 
     Well, not the paypal thing…

but you never know.

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Told ya.

  • Janie Emaus - I like your honesty!ReplyCancel

  • School of Smock - Great analysis! I think we’ve all done some of those. It’s hard not to be judgmental about other people’s blogging style. But I’m sure somebody’s puzzled by my blogging behavior too!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl Nicholl - Thank you! Yep, I think we’ve all done a bit of it- sadly. I just want to be aware so I don’t fall into one of these ruts.ReplyCancel

  • - LOL…you’re so right. I’ve seen all of these, and find it frustrating. Wish they came with warning labels.ReplyCancel

  • Dana @ Kiss My List - This cracked me up – mostly because I know at least one blog in each of these areas! Fortunately we can follow who we want and ignore those we don’t like.

    I winced a little at the list maker – clearly I am one, but I try not to do list posts too often. And I stop when I’m done – whether I get to 10 or not!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl Nicholl - Dana- i love your style and I’m NOT referencing you. I’ve even done a LIST post (at Xmas). Thanks for stopping by. I always appreciate your point of view.ReplyCancel

  • Natalie the Singingfool - Here’s to NEVER becoming one of those bloggers! πŸ˜‰ReplyCancel

  • Rabia - I think I, too, know someone in each of these categories. I’ve probably done shades of most of them too.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl Nicholl - Shades of Grey- or Gray, are all around us. Thanks for stopping by Rabia and taking the time to comment. Much appreciated.ReplyCancel

  • Another Clean Slate - Haha I can definitely spy a few of these πŸ™‚ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl Nicholl - They’re so glaring that instead of a spy glass you need an umbrella to shield yourself. πŸ™‚ReplyCancel

  • Stephanie Sprenger - YES! You speak the truth, wise woman! I had to laugh as I read down your list. You are spot-on. Enough said.ReplyCancel

  • Krisztina Williams - Lol! Some hilarious ones on that list. The one I can’t stand the most is the “I Have So Much To Say About Nothing” blogger!ReplyCancel

  • William Kendall - I’ve run into a few of them….ReplyCancel

  • Darcy Perdu - 10 Reasons I Love Your Post About Blogging: 1) You think exactly like I do. You are my best virtual friend. In fact, my best LIVING friend. (My therapist says I can’t count the dead ones anymore.) 2) You write so well, I’d like to ask you to guest host my blog for 6 weeks while I recuperate from my emotional breakdown due to lack of readership. It’s basically just down to one reader now. My mom. And frankly, her feedback is tepid, at best. 3) Your guest post will appear just after my 75th banner ad – next to the PayPal button for my DonateToMe Campaign. 4) I haven’t posted in 4 months, but please be sure to Like me on Facebook – and on Pinterest – and in Real Life. 5) – 10) I actually don’t have time for reasons 5 through 10 because I just had a brilliant idea for a fascinating post about that time I folded laundry.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl Nicholl - That is the most CLEVER comment I (or anyone else) has EVER received. You, my dear, have my vote for President! And, may I say, ‘virtual’ or not, we should meet for a glass of vino! xxxoooReplyCancel

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