Once Upon A Time…
in a Land not so Far Away, there lived a beautiful young Queen with three small children in her SUV carriage: the two flowers she had pushed threw a garden hose and her lovely niece. It was a beautiful day.
She was charged with the happiness and well-being of these three sweet souls. They were her life. She was their guardian.
Alas, there were many days when she could not escape the confines of the four walls of her over-mortaged castle and the continual snow storms that plagued her lack of opportunity to strut her new ermine robes among the common folk. The carriage had but wooden wheels and the road was rutted.
She found herself feeling as if under a dark spell whence she often times dreamed of drugging the King, letting the hounds loose, and locking the children in the dungeon.
She sought out her Merlin and asked for advise.
He advised Retail Therapy- the sweet smell of melting coded plastic- the burning of the VISA- a White Witch ritual she had mastered through long hours of apprenticeship.
She accepted his challenge and decided to venture into the forest, along well traveled paths (She promised the kids a treat and loaded up the van).
Her Majesty was going to let-er-rip at Kmart (pre-Target age).
Hallelujah the world was still there and it wanted her- her beauty, charm, and rubbles.
But finding a parking space for the carriage was a challenge (Like- impossible).
Round and round she went, peaking through the lanes, taking corners on two wheels, attempting to out wit the mathematics that dictated the odds of finding a space near the front.
Her patience was wearing thin. The horses were getting restless (Kids).
VIOLA! THERE! Blinker on (yes, her carriage had a blinker)… and swoop.
What The Fantasia?
“Hey! YOU! Yes, YOU!”, she said with a shake of her gloved fist through the curtained opening, child sliding downdowndown in anticipation of the oncoming onslaught.
“You can’t park there! I’ve been circling! I had my BLINKER on for Christ’s sake! Back out Baby. BACK OUT OF THE SPACE!”
As you may have already anticipated, he did not ‘back-out’, in fact, he locked his carriage doors, waited for her to move on and then, and only then, high-tailed it, on foot, through the maze of harnessed transportation.
But, she saw him. She saw him close-up.
And so she whipped her horse power into a frenzy and drove to the automatic gates, and with the roar of a Lion Queen shouted, “I BETTER NOT FIND YOU IN KMART!”
Which, of course, her children were preoccupied with the entire time, allowing her the freedom to select fresh sheets for the Royale bed, discounted detergent for the castle laundress, and new running shoes for her delicate feet, because if anyone knows how to run (or run things)…
I Kmart You.
Once Upon A Time…