A Valentine’s Day Fairytale

Remember that scene in Cinderella where the sweet woodland creatures assemble to create her ball gown?

And it’s all whistle while you work (different movie- but whatev) and they look so cute and they’re so talented and she has such a small waist? 

I always wanted my Valentine’s Day to be that good- on my way to a Ball to dance with my Prince Charming, awesome dress, blond (nah),  either a carriage of pumpkin or a Ferrari, and the entrance! Oh, don’t get me started on the entrance!!  

But mostly the glass slippers. 

Come on. You know you wanted it too.

And for a while [sigh] my world was a Disney movie, and I had a 24inch waist, and all that was wrong in the world could be solved by our love.

Two inseparable souls entwined in the heat of our affection. 

Holy Shit. I remember.

But even Cinderella had her some babies, and since the Royal household employed more then 50 staff, and the Prince had to provide health coverage, which became cost-restrictive, they downsized, and Cindy took a job outside the home to cover the cost of daycare and groceries. The Prince, meanwhile, often times found himself frustrated after a day in Kingdom management, so he knocked back a few martoonies at night, and hit-the-hay exhausted, only to entirely forget the celebration of St. Valentine in all of it’s heart-shaped glory.

Did this bother Cinderella?

Why, yes.

Yes, it did. 

After all, she wasn’t a natural born Princess, she had worked frickin’ hard to get there, had to banish her stepmother, and lock-up some competing beeatches, and, and…

I believe I have just invented the new 21st Century fairytale and reminded my husband that the Queen still holds the keys to the castle (if ‘ya know what I mean).
Where are the keys?
How do I pay bills?
What are our account numbers?
What day is it?

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