A BAD DAY IN THE KINGDOM

 

Welcome revered Subjects.

 

You may approach.

yadayadayada Is that so?

Next!

blahblahblah I see. Very challenging.

Next!

zzzzzzzzzz Pity.

Next!

hahahhaaaaa I’m bored.

 

Lance! Remove them. My skull is a fire and I still suffer the weight upon my regal snowy white slender unblemished shoulders from the trials of this past fortnight.

 

It’s so hard to be the Queenly when the surrounding Kingdoms can’t properly attend to their shat.

 

Dans l’exemple…

 

  • I was denied access to Royal transport. The reasons matter not. A frighteningly ugly short-appendaged man at the village green and I exchanged w-o-r-d-s, which did not seem to move him. I am a seasoned warrior, and accepted the defeat, because, after discussing this with his Despot, he will be punished, which is almost as good as winning the battle.

  • I relinquished a portion of my treasury as a result of the aforementioned wartlogged toad. But I have settled with a large donation from his Kingdom to make amends. And a covered coach for transport. With Stallions at the lead. Check. Mate.

  • A device used for distributing rubles shortchanged my assistant, which required that I personally attend to the matter. Do the monarchal duties never end?

  • I had to demand an audience with the neighboring Kingdom’s bankers thrice in one week. It seems they are incapable of following my instructions and warding off  dragons that seek to devour my Queenly identity. How many of me are there? I’m the Queen for God’s sake.

  • I decided to indulge my imperial desire for a dip in warm gulf waters and was accompanied by my cellular devise which I had placed in my royal swimsuit brassiere, and of which, I had forgotten about because I had been dealing with all of the serfs complaints (and I was only born with two hands- royal hands, but only two), and needing extra portage I looked down and realized that my masterfully sculpted breast plate was a dandy facility, which it is, but not for warm cell phones against warm skin that become indiscernible from all the other foundation garments that are holding up the ladies in waiting.

  • A new communication devise was acquired but all regal contacts & imperial portraits were lost because the Queen has never backed-up her phone. So, if you don’t get an invitation to the Ball next solstice- I implore you to retain a messenger, post haste, because this Queen’s duties do not include remembering all of her subjects rural routes.

  • As I exited the Kingdom’s commercial center, day yorn, the kitten heel on my favorite pair of black strappy sandals-removed itself, so I simply  retired the twin in hand and separated the other heel from it’s shapely form- by  whacking it on the nearest hard surface, which happened to be a sign post. No matter that it read, ‘STOP’.  Very aristocratic.

  • Then, there are the appointments I am having an unnecessarily difficult time having common folk respond to, for elusive previews of living quarters in a foreign land (that the Princess has chosen to live in) and more carriages to catch, and horses to let, and remunerative treatises to be negotiated.

  • And, least I forget a joining event, of great import, that must be attended in the nether regions of the Northern Hemisphere, where barges are the most common from of transportation and the mosquitoes are as large as deep forest wolves.

 

So, if I am henceforth remiss in sending news of an Imperial nature, for just a short while, remember…

The Queen is busy fighting battles

(and she needs to get her nails done).

 

queenPINIMAGE

 

 

 




  • Cary Vaughn - You are very hands-on with your kingdom. It must be exhausting being that fabulous. ReplyCancel

  • Diane Tolley - Forgive me, Majesty for my ill-timed peasant laughter. But I laugheth. Muchly.ReplyCancel

  • Gary Sidley - As one of your humble, nay lowly, subjects, might I be so bold as to suggest that you find an alternative pouch for your cellphone?ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Where were you when I needed you Gary?????ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - I meant to ask the other day–where can I find that device for distributing rubies?ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Right next to the one that gives forth diamonds my dear. HahaaaaaReplyCancel

  • Linda Roy - M’lady, you show masterful skills in the dominance of unruly footwear, and I feel the need to heartily applaud you.ReplyCancel

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