Family Shit Pancakes- SO DELICIOUS

 

As some of you may have realized, I’ve been absent from the blog for the past few months. My mother had a major stroke and the SHIT hit the fan-pronto, as SHIT is apt to do, because if you’re not getting enough fiber (or your scared SHITless and receiving poor council) your SHIT is likely to be unarguably runny or dense as bricks.

 

SHIT is an interesting ‘thing’; always a byproduct. Sometimes it’s expected and other times it just creeps up on you and you have to let ‘er blow.

Is there a plumber for that?

When babies come into the world they do three things: eat, cry and SHIT. We happily attend to their needs. But what do you do if your baby gets all grown-up and still SHITs their pants? (Because, it turns out, SHIT is also the foundation for more SHIT. I know people who live in SHIT houses with SHIT for brains. Some of them aren’t even in diapers).

Of course, there are a few places one should SHIT in if one is to consider themselves part of polite society: toilets (alone) or maybe maybe a hole in the ground if your camping and have wondered off the beaten path. There’s a lot of SHIT in holes. Holes, like SHIT, sneak up on you. Holes are often masked by pretty leaves in the most beautiful of our Parks. Keep your sniffer in good order. Breath deeply. Observe other animals. If your dog starts digging- or is frothing at the mouth- walk the other way.

SHIT is not democratic. No one gets to vote on wether to SHIT or not, or how many times a day to SHIT, or even if they can pay higher taxes to have someone else SHIT for them. Sometimes you’re just stuck with the SHIT you eat earned.

I know people who love their SHIT. If it hasn’t been a SHITty day they don’t know what to do with themselves. They bathe in it. They court it. They make love to it. They even use it as an excuse to SHIT on everyone else. SHIT loves company. SHIT will love you if you let it.

Don’t.

SHIT can be well-formed (even familiar) and make no sound and tell you everything you want to hear as it plugs your plumbing, but your plumbing will be plugged no less.

SHIT can be difficult to evacuate and need a push and make you wish you had pushed harder, sooner.

SHIT can misinform your wellbeing. People who SHIT explosively often find a certain sense of power from filling the crapper because they haven’t filled anything else nearly as expertly.

There are even SHIT artists– you know, the kind that travel the classic ‘three miles of bad road’ because they only know one way from Point A to Point B, and that stretch of asphalt is off the counties list of ‘Roads Worth Repairing’ but they didn’t get the memo? They paint with their SHIT and then try to convince you it’s revolutionary and you should appreciate it. They put a very high price on their SHIT, but it is, in fact, their only resource, and will be lucky to sell even one.

SHIT happens, it just a matter of degree- it’s just a matter of fluid intake and reason and fiber and steadfastness.

We’ve all heard the diddy, “Don’t SHIT where you eat’.

Sadly, sometimes, people go crazbo in the kitch cookin’ up’ SHIT pancakes serving them with sweet sauce to mask the flavor.

But it’s still SHIT and they still have to lay in it.

I’ll order out.

 

Be careful where you SHIT.PINIMAGE

Be careful where you SHIT.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 




  • Sue - I most liked the lines about how people love to court their shit. Sorry to hear about your lovely Mom Cheryl.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Oh yes they do! They dream about having mad sex with their SHIT. SHIT is the only thing that likes them. Oh boy.ReplyCancel

  • Doreen McGettigan - So sorry to hear about your Mom’s stroke. I’m glad you are back and sorry about all the shit but it does happen. Keep moving forward.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - The trick is to not have to double flush. Life’s too short for double flushing Doreen. Thanks for stopping by my friend.ReplyCancel

  • Tam Warner Minton - I am very sorry about your mom. You know how some people say life is a bowl of cherries? My dad used to say life is a bowl of $h!t!ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - For some reason, I totally get this. Sorry to hear. Inevitable, though.ReplyCancel

  • Tracy@CrazyAsNormal - Well shit Cheryl. And hugs, lots and lots of hugs.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Thanks Tracy. I’ll take your lots and lots of hugs. XXOOReplyCancel

  • Carolann - Sorry to hear about your mom. I was searching for some clever shitty thing to say but I can totally relate to your plight and oh ok I got one…shit doesn’t run upstream! I like that one :ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Oh yes- I like that one too! So clever Carolann! How could it not?! It’s heavy and sluggish like some people that have shit for brains. Not you. Not me. Others…ReplyCancel

  • Kathleen O'Donnell - Life is shitty sometimes my friend Cheryl Nicholl.ReplyCancel

  • Linda Roy - I’m sorry you’re going through this shit, my friend. But you’re the shit, and I know you’ll get through it. All the same, sending you hugs. xxxReplyCancel

  • Andi Fisher - My hubby is French and they have an expression when making from of the stereotypical French person – they say the French are the only ones that will stand in their own shit and act like they are perfectly clean!ReplyCancel

  • Lois Alter Mark - I’m so sorry you’re going through all this, Cheryl, and hope you can flush it away soon.ReplyCancel

  • Kristi Bennett - Sorry to hear you’re dealing with all this shit. My favorite shit quote. “The grass is greener on the other side because it’s covered in shit”.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I love it! Yes- sterilized SHIT is a good fertilizer. I use Black Kow in the garden- not human Kow. Though I know someone who keeps trying to SHIT in my garden,ReplyCancel

  • Brenna Fae - Sorry to hear about your mom and I hope she recovers well!

    That being said, you are the only person I know of who can take an embarrassing topic and make me laugh so hard that I want to share it on facebook and even send it to someone who is an expert on IBS and sells healthy products to help others with that problem…myself included.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Really? Truly? Aren’t you a sweetheart and my new best friend. What does IBS stand for: Idiot Bull Shitter? I know one of those. *wink* Thanks for stopping by. Much appreciated.ReplyCancel

  • David Butler - Sorry to hear about all the shit you are going through.In the past few years of my life I have had put up with a lot of shit,shit from family,companies and even friends.I have had to go thought shit,hear shit,see shit ,eat shit and be shit on.I finally had enough shit so I pack some shit and came to Brazil to get away from the shit .Now I will have to leave soon as, my visa only has 90 days and if I don’t leave I will be in deep shit.So i will be going back to the US,were I’m sure there is shit waiting for me.Cheryl, you are one of the only people I know who has never given me any shit, thank youReplyCancel

  • Burns the Fire - We can learn from babies. They are comfortable with their shit, as evidenced by how they play with and eat it. So sorry to hear about your Mom!ReplyCancel

  • Natalie Claunch - Here’s one for you- “well shit fire and save the matches!
    Sorry about your momReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I hadn’t heard that one before! I love it!! I’m compiling a SHIT dictionary. Keep ’em comin’!ReplyCancel

  • Gary Sidley - Sorry to hear you’re having a difficult time.

    All that shit talk, I thought for a moment I’d stumbled into a Michael Mele post!ReplyCancel

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