Planning A Happy Marriage


Planning A Happy MarriagePINIMAGE

Planning A Happy Marriage

I have recently celebrated my 34th year of wedded bliss- well, maybe not bliss, as bliss is fleeting, but pretty darn happy with the same guy for a a really long time kind of who-ha.


How is this possible? 


What happened- or didn’t?


Where did we go right?


As I think back on our journey we were ‘intrigued’ with each other from the get-go (and the get-go began on a sunny summer day when he was 14 and I was 11 frickin’ years old).


His family had just moved to our town and I was in the car when my mother dropped my little sister off to play with his little sister. There he came, strolling across the yard.


‘Look at that swagger. Isn’t he interesting. Is he wearing clogs? I love clogs! I have a pair. We could wear them together. And long hair! He probably doesn’t play football. I hate football. That looks like a tennis racket. It is a tennis racket! Pretty cool. I can’t play tennis. I could learn. I wonder where they’re from? Not here. Good. Will he look my way? Oh God, he’s coming close…’


And… whoosh right by- because he was 14 and I was 11, but not before he gave me a glance.


Fast forward 12 years (through high school and college and finding your first job and moving into your first apartment), and life found us both back in our hometown with a mutual acquaintance, one that I sought to explore a more adult relationship with.


Problem was that this mutual acquaintance had become engaged to be married while I was away and another one bites the dust so THAT’S not gonna happen, but what’s this?


‘Who lives upstairs? He does? I haven’t seen him in years. He’s coming down? Hi! How are you? Fine, thank you. Hungry? Why yes I am. Sure. Why not. Talk to you later mutual acquaintance’.


And he took me to dinner and we have never left each other’s side.


So what does this say?


Probably that we were both looking for a long term relationship at the same time.


Probably that we both met each others requirements: He made me laugh, and I was, well, I was ME. (Need I say more?)


Anywho, one year later down the aisle, and off into the sunset, and it’s been a pretty good gig.


But what has kept us going?




Aside from actually liking each other, being able to make each other laugh and having a tremendous amount of respect for each others opinions (blahblahblah), it’s the ‘planning’ component that still floats our boat.


It’s the thrill of reaching a goal.


It’s identifying a ‘destination’ and charting a course of action.


Maybe it’s monetary?


Maybe it’s emotional?


Could be social.


Possibly celebratory.


Sometimes short-term.


Sometimes long.


And once in a while it may involve someone else (can you say ‘children’?) but it always starts with a PLAN.


Dear Lord the power of a PLAN!




Making the seemingly impossible Doable.


Knocking that bitch called Doubt on her ass.


Here’s how it usually goes: 


“I’m sick of…”

“Me too.”

“Why don’t we…?”

“We should.”

“We could!”

“How would we begin?”

“What about…”



“Okay. And then I’ll…”

“You’re so smart.”

“You’re not bad either.”

“Wanna get married?”



“I’ll let you know on our 35th.”

 (Gotta keep ’em guessing people)

Planning A Happy MarriagePINIMAGE

Planning A Happy Marriage


  • Carollynn Hammersmith - Happy belated anniversary to 2 of my favorite people! Your friendship,has stood the true test of time.ReplyCancel

  • Candy - We will celebrate 34 years in October. Sad when people ask if we have been married only once. Congratulations!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Boy, that’s saying something isn’t it. I can usually tell if a couple has been together only with each other- there’s a body language that goes along with long-term. A secret code in the way they look (or don’t) at each other- finish each other’s sentences- assist each other. Just lovely. Congratulations to us both.ReplyCancel

  • Linda Petersen Spiker - Happy anniversary! We have been married almost 36 years! Our long marriages are a rarity these days!ReplyCancel

  • Kristen Kavan - Happy Anniversary! I love this. I’ve been married all of 10 months, but I agree with this thought!ReplyCancel

  • Danielle Rouillard - Happy Anniversary! It’s always inspiring to see people still together and in love after so many years. Gives me and my generation some hope!!ReplyCancel

  • Helene Cohen Bludman - What a great story. A classic example of “it was meant to be.”ReplyCancel

  • Adrienne Spragg - Happy anniversary to you! What a wonderful post. My best friend is getting married next year. I will have to share your post with her. Thanks for sharing.ReplyCancel

  • Roshni AaMom - Aargh!! You make it sound so easy! 🙁 This when The Husband and I had a fight over the weekend!
    Happy anniversary, to you, dear friend and your beau!!ReplyCancel

  • Paul D. Brads - Almost 39 here. We stay because we still love each other. It’s not always easy or pretty, it just is.ReplyCancel

  • Alison Coward - Congratulations on 34 years! We’ve been married 4 years but together for 14 and I totally agree with planning. If you’re not both on the same wavelength as to how things will go (or how to ride it out when things don’t go your way) then it won’t last. Very inspiring reading about successful couples!ReplyCancel

  • Leila M Brenner - Lol! I loved this post! We started out kind of similar in that our first night was the day we have never left each others sides. (Honestly, I can count on 2 hands the number of times we have been apart for a night) While we have not hit 35 years yet; we did celebrate 10 years of marriage. It’s work, but working together works!ReplyCancel

  • Michael John Mele - Happy Anniversary my friend! You are freaking amazing.ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - Best wishes! Now, I have to admit that i have had a cocktail, therefore I’m not sure I’m following the gist of this except that you met him at age 11 and it was meant to be. All the in between stuff? Pshaw! Continued happiness. He’s got to be amazing, because you are. And don’t I wish you were here having cocktails with me.ReplyCancel

  • Lola Marguerita - Happy anniversary!ReplyCancel

  • Bridget Howell Martin - This was a great share! Funny, witty, and encouraging to those of us still trying to make those milestones and keep that ability to yet keep them guessing. While we are married only 8 years, we are an old married couple and hopefully have many more to come for these same reasons.ReplyCancel

  • Thrifty Guardian - Love it!! Will definitely keep this in mind as we hit our fourth year and strive for our 50th. Things aren’t always easy, but he is my best friend and we certainly do lots of planning! 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Mari Collier - Congratulations and many more Happy Anniversaries. Lanny and I could look at something and see the weirdness of it all and start laughing without saying a word. Laughter, hugs, mutual interests are all important, but it is the friendship and the romantic (what are you all doing in the bedroom all the time?) that really works. Hugs.ReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth A. Havey - Happy Anniversary. Delighted for you. I’m grateful every day for my marriage. And your post is a wonderful reminder. BethReplyCancel

  • Lois Alter Mark - Happy anniversary! We are on our way to 35 this year. How can that possibly be?!ReplyCancel

  • Estelle Sobel Erasmus - I love this. My husband and I have a way of knowing what each other is going to say before we say it, yet we still keep each other on our toes. Sounds like you can bottle and package the potent power of your love.ReplyCancel

  • Marlynn Jayme Schotland - Happy anniversary! Love this. We’ve been together for 23 years, married for 14.5. It’s a wild ride but a good one! 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Leanne Le Cras - congrats on 34 years – we’re coming up for 33 in a week – time certainly flies! I think it’s amazing that we start off so blithely and find that we are still cruising along after 3+ decades together!ReplyCancel

  • Suzanne Fluhr - Coming up on 34 also. Shared values and respect go a long way. I think we’ve always subconsciously been able to sense who needed more support at any given time and the other would step up without having to be asked. After this many years we’ve shared so much, that whole for better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health thing. Our marriage is our port in the storm. All that and that intangible attraction called love. I’m thankful every day for this relationship.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Me too. Of course the Shared Values & Respect thing are paramount even if you get to the same place in different ways- non?ReplyCancel

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