I have recently celebrated my 34th year of wedded bliss- well, maybe not bliss, as bliss is fleeting, but pretty darn happy with the same guy for a a really long time kind of who-ha.
How is this possible?
What happened- or didn’t?
Where did we go right?
As I think back on our journey we were ‘intrigued’ with each other from the get-go (and the get-go began on a sunny summer day when he was 14 and I was 11 frickin’ years old).
His family had just moved to our town and I was in the car when my mother dropped my little sister off to play with his little sister. There he came, strolling across the yard.
‘Look at that swagger. Isn’t he interesting. Is he wearing clogs? I love clogs! I have a pair. We could wear them together. And long hair! He probably doesn’t play football. I hate football. That looks like a tennis racket. It is a tennis racket! Pretty cool. I can’t play tennis. I could learn. I wonder where they’re from? Not here. Good. Will he look my way? Oh God, he’s coming close…’
And… whoosh right by- because he was 14 and I was 11, but not before he gave me a glance.
Fast forward 12 years (through high school and college and finding your first job and moving into your first apartment), and life found us both back in our hometown with a mutual acquaintance, one that I sought to explore a more adult relationship with.
Problem was that this mutual acquaintance had become engaged to be married while I was away
and another one bites the dust so THAT’S not gonna happen, but what’s this?
‘Who lives upstairs? He does? I haven’t seen him in years. He’s coming down? Hi! How are you? Fine, thank you. Hungry? Why yes I am. Sure. Why not. Talk to you later mutual acquaintance’.
And he took me to dinner and we have never left each other’s side.
So what does this say?
Probably that we were both looking for a long term relationship at the same time.
Probably that we both met each others requirements: He made me laugh, and I was, well, I was ME. (Need I say more?)
Anywho, one year later down the aisle, and off into the sunset, and it’s been a pretty good gig.
But what has kept us going?
Aside from actually liking each other, being able to make each other laugh and having a tremendous amount of respect for each others opinions (blahblahblah), it’s the ‘planning’ component that still floats our boat.
It’s the thrill of reaching a goal.
It’s identifying a ‘destination’ and charting a course of action.
Maybe it’s monetary?
Maybe it’s emotional?
Could be social.
And once in a while it may involve someone else (can you say ‘children’?) but it always starts with a PLAN.
Dear Lord the power of a PLAN!
Making the seemingly impossible Doable.
Knocking that bitch called Doubt on her ass.
Here’s how it usually goes:
“I’m sick of…”
“Why don’t we…?”
“How would we begin?”
“Okay. And then I’ll…”
“You’re so smart.”
“You’re not bad either.”
“Wanna get married?”
“I’ll let you know on our 35th.”
(Gotta keep ’em guessing people)