Parenting Like A Warrior

Parenting Like A WarriorPINIMAGE

Parenting Like A Warrior

First off, don’t go getting your knickers in a twist because you’re downward facing dog over the word ‘warrior’ and thinking, ‘That’s what’s wrong with the world! Too much aggression!’

 

At ease soldier.

 

Parenting is all guts and very little glory.

 

If you can’t wrap your head around this simple wisdom you’re probably between the third scheduled after-school activity of the day and fake-smiling in the rear view mirror as you dig in your purse for another Xanax.

 

All is not lost.

 

We can train you to be all you can be.

 

I speak of this today because I know a young mother who is terrified of her children.

 

She’s so committed to being ‘open-minded’ that her brains have fallen out.

 

What this REALLY is, is that she’s afraid they won’t ‘like’ her (And if she keeps up the wussy parenting she’ll be right).

 

 

First, let’s all agree on at least one thing:

 

We love our children so completely that we’re usually the idiots.

 

 

The problem IS that we are A-C-T-U-A-L-L-Y supposed to know what’s-up- Our kids are counting on it (They don’t know you don’t know what the hell you’re doing).

 

So, you do YOU but if your hair is going prematurely gray, ya’ might want to consider a few rules in basic training:

 

  • Don’t explain everything. You’re trying to reason with a toddler. A T-O-D-D-L-E-R for christsake.

  • Don’t use big, complicated, sophisticated words before your child is potty trained. Words are age appropriate. No 4 year old needs to refer to her who-ha as a vagina or her father as a dead-beat.

  • Use your ‘power’ over the television, computer, cell phone- whatever they value. Yes, I believe in the power of positive reinforcement but I’m certain of the power of being the Grand Puba.

  • Which brings me to: No means nada. Zilch. Kaput. Awesome life lesson. ‘No’ is a word all happy people are not offended by. They just try harder.

  • Exercise the concept of Rules with Consequences. You don’t need a whole slew of ‘rules’ but you should have a few, like: work hard, love hard, play hard. And table manners. Let’s not forget those.

  • It helps if your children feel they’re part of a ‘team’, that they’re not the center of the universe. No child wants that kind of responsibility. Adulthood comes quick enough.

  • Don’t forget that your child is SUPPOSED to rail against you (How else would they learn to survive?) and even when it feels like they hate you, you’re still the parent- and they don’t.

  • Weigh the ‘battles’. Is it really worth the angst to rage over a toaster pancake vs. a stone ground bulgar wheat smoothie? I know you’re trying to exercise clean eating standards but you need to be more clever- like sneaking a dollop of wheat grass into the jam. In fact, the less they directly know about what you’re trying to do FOR them, the better. You’re a parent now. Think of yourself as a master of cold war spying tactics.

  • Which brings me to ‘spying’. Have at it. It’s your house. You’re rules. Nothing is off limits. At the very least you’ll create an environment by which they have to be more clever, which is a character trait you’re trying to develop in them anyways. Society calls it ‘Creativity.’ I call it ‘being pro-active’.

 

It goes something like this:

 

 

“Mom, you have to respect my privacy!”

“I don’t HAVE to do anything- except make it very difficult for you to screw-up.”

 

“Why don’t you trust me?”

“I do trust you. I think you’re wonderful. But surviving your (insert age) takes a village. And I’m the Mayor.”

 

“Why can’t I wear it?”

“Because you will give the impression that you are able to handle something you are not ready to take responsibility for.”

 

“But everyone is doing it!”

“I don’t give a crap about ‘everyone’. Only you.”

 

“I hate you! We’ll never be friends!”

“You will have a bucket-full of friends in life. They will come and go. You will only have one mother. I will be here no matter what. Guess which one I’m aiming for?”

 

 

So…

 

Don’t make life more difficult then it already is for you and your spawn.

 

Stick to your guns, and if you’re on time…

You’re late.

 

 




  • Tam Warner Minton - I’m sharing this. EXCELLENT advice! My daughter used to tell me I wasn’t consistent enough. When she was 10. I tried!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Kids. Can’t reason with them. Can’t lock them in a closet.ReplyCancel

  • Tammy - Awesome-sauce! I never left my kids with the impression that had a “right” to privacy until it was in their own house…you know, the one they pay the mortgage or rent to live in. “If it’s in my house…it’s my business.”ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Exactamundo! My kids had to EARN rights- including privacy (which I never gave them full access to actually) and they’ve turned out to better people then most.ReplyCancel

  • Rebecca Forstadt Olkowski - So glad I made it through parenting alive. Luckily, my kids are doing well.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Don’t we all just sort of give it up to higher powers? But here on Earth someone has to do the hard work- right?ReplyCancel

  • Sheri Lein - I love this post so much, I need to come back here and read some more. Tweeting this now 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Doreen Mcgettigan - I love common sense and this post is full of it!ReplyCancel

  • Shari Eberts - Love it!! Great tips to live by. Thank you!ReplyCancel

  • Rena McDaniel - Love, Love, Love this! I was reading this outloud to my daughter and we’re both dying laughing!ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - I do not have children but I absolutely love this advice. And can I tell you how much I love the soldier?ReplyCancel

  • Grammie Time - I love you! As a parent, grandparent and a teacher! Spill these words of wisdom from all rooftops and let this generation listen. At least try and listen. I call this old-fashion parenting! Our past generations would be proud!! Amen lady, amen lady!ReplyCancel

  • Donna Beckman Tagliaferri - perfection….once again a cry for common sense. May this blog go virile…did I spell that correctly? oh whatever you know what I meanReplyCancel

  • Rosemond - Amen, no means no! And yes I spy on her electronics. I told her that I have put software on her cellphone so I can see her activity.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - You see! HONESTY in our smashing of liberties! PERFECTION!ReplyCancel

  • Mari Collier - It is essential to be the Mother, Mom, Mama, whatever term your family uses. Note the capital letters! I do hope the younger ones read your blog. Oh, and welcome back. Missed you!ReplyCancel

  • Rosemond Perdue-Cranner - Stick to your guns! Agree!ReplyCancel

  • Diane Tolley - Cherykl, yuou have written so many amazing posts, but this one stands out to me over all the others. (And that’s saying something!) WELL DONE!!! Sharing . . .ReplyCancel

  • Cathy Lynch Lawdanski - Yes…that is all!ReplyCancel

  • Myke Todd - This is altogether brilliant.

    I approve! Not only that, my Mom would have approved.ReplyCancel

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