Tag Archives: Holidays

    What is it about resolutions that’s so infuriating?   Probably that we believe that making a ‘promise’ to ourselves, and having that ‘promise’ begin on the first day of a new year will somehow s-o-m-e-h-o-w increase our odds at winning the lack of commitment lotto we will all certainly fall prey to.   […]

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  • abby@Midlifecrisisnut.com - And she’s back! Great post Cheryl! I would fortify no 3 by Grand Marnier and the list is complete for me:) Happy New Year to you and your family! xx AbbyReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - This past holiday season was a whopper and we had house guests between the main events, so I’ve been a little lack. Happy New Year to you and yours as well my friend!ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - Today’s post, like so many of yours? Totally refreshing! I hear you, sister. I hear you.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Peace Out baby cakes. I knew you’d ‘get’ it.ReplyCancel

  • Roshni - I totally concur! How does promising something on Dec 31st increase your chances of succeeding if you haven’t been able to keep your promise any time else?!ReplyCancel

  • Tam Warner Minton - Ha! I love your attitude! Like we keep our “serious” resolutions, anyway, right?ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - So self-delusional. I prefer full-on acceptance of all my failures.ReplyCancel

  • Elin Stebbins Waldal - hahaha! This really is great, Cheryl. Refreshing in the midst of the New Year barrage of resolutions that abound on social media. Throw more parties indeed!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Bucking the trends ( which are usually bs anyways) is my THING Elin. I have a saddle hanging in my closet.ReplyCancel

  • Carolann Iadarola - LOL love each and evey one of them. I think these are my resolutions now too.ReplyCancel

  • Rosalind Warren - Fabulous!
    A terrific idea, and beautifully carried out.
    Tweeting and Sharing.ReplyCancel

  • Ellen Dolgen - You are my hero! I LOVE LOVE LOVE your resolutions! Many of these, I am successfully acomplishing already! Love realistic goals like this.ReplyCancel

  • Diane Tolley - Realistic goals I can get behind! I especially love the ‘eat what I want to’ resolution. My house for chocolate later . . .?ReplyCancel

  • Lois Alter Mark - Ooh, I like your resolutions, my friend. I might actually be able to keep all of those.ReplyCancel

  • Mari Collier - LOL Those non-resolutions should be easy enough to follow. I’m not sure I like the read less. How do I convince you to read Earthbound then? Merlot should help the brain cells though.ReplyCancel

  • Kimberly Montgomery - You’ve just made my year so much simplier! Now, can you take care of my closet??
    Kimberly XOReplyCancel

  • Stephanie - Lol this is awesome. I’m with you with all what you said. I don’t ever make New Years resolutions just because a.) I’ll never commit to it the entire year and b.) like you said any day is the first day of the rest of your life. If I wanna commit to start working out more, I’m not going to wait until January 1st to do so, Imma do it today, right now!

    Thanks for sharing at Manic Monday Linky party!!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - You’re so welcome Stephanie! Your LINK party was fun!!ReplyCancel

  • Marianne Joyce - Your list is perfect!!! I’m happy to help you keep them!ReplyCancel

      Remember when you were little and watched Rudolph or Frosty or Miracle on 34th Street and allowed yourself to  believe it was true if only for the season? That the world actually worked that way? That people found salvation with a little help from their friends, or a kind stranger in a […]

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  • Karina -My Letters of Transit - I really enjoyed this post, it had me laughing out loud. You have a great sense of humor, and made some of these all too real and annoying situations more humorous.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Thanks Karina. Humor and annoyance are my stock in trade!ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - The new register drawer. Oh honey. I feel your pain. And why can’t they wipe those carts off? How come the cashier has to pause to read the headline on my Nat’l Inquirer?Am I the ONLY customer who buys them? Surely not! Oh, I have to stop because I just checked into my hotel rm in San Francisco for two days and have to go eat.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Eat? San Francisco? GO. Now. Have one for me!ReplyCancel

  • Lisa at Grandma's Briefs - I know I should shop local, but everything you said here is exactly why I prefer to shop mostly online.

    I, too, wish I could get back the magical feel of the season. I’m trying to focus less on stuff and shopping, though, and that helps a ton.

    May your Christmas be merry and bright despite the knuckleheads you encounter.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Good word “knuckleheads”. That’s what’s all around! You too have a lovely Holiday Season.ReplyCancel

  • Karen D. Austin - I avoid the whole thing by not shopping during the holidays. It’s just too much for me. I guess people can call me Scrooge, but I just can’t deal with things as described above. My best to the brave who go “out there” at this time of year.ReplyCancel

  • Lois Alter Mark - Ha! You couldn’t pay me to go shopping during the holidays. It would make it too easy to hate all of humanity!ReplyCancel

  • Rosalind Warren - “This is not the time of year for exact change.” Amen, sister. Fun piece. It’s funny because it’s ALL true.ReplyCancel

  • Alana Mautone - That is what amazon.com is for. Except I was out there, like an idiot, on Black Friday. Had an encounter with a clerk at CVS that still has me shaking my yead.ReplyCancel

  • Diane Tolley - Yikes! We’ve been in the same lines! Next time, bring a thermos of hot chocolate. I’ll do the same and we can sit and sip and snigger over everyone else in the line. Without ever – you know – getting in the line orselves . . .ReplyCancel

  • Roshni AaMom - I’m with your readers who doesn’t shop during the holidays, but I must say that your post tells me how much entertainment can be derived by just stepping inside a shop and observing!! Maybe I’ll do that next week!! 😉ReplyCancel

  • Katie Knapp Hill - Hahahaha that was hilarious and I could not agree more! My last two Christmas’s have been AWESOME. Nothing like missing the whole nightmare by living on a small Caribbean island for 4-6 months during the winter.ReplyCancel

  • Mari Collier - The joys of shopping online become clearer every year. Yes, indeed. Then there is other lovely part. Most of my receipient of presents want money. Good. I just put the amount I would have spent inside a Christmas card. They are happy and I’m happy. No huge bills arriving after Christmas. Oh, by the way, my view of Christmas as a child was so totally different. It hasn’t changed, but you should have gleaned that from the novel you read. If you are curious, I’ll answer, otherwise just wonder about it.ReplyCancel

  • Cathy Chester - Online shopping is my newest best friend and as much as I love the feel of Christmas since childhood (you try not celebrating it in a town with no Jews!) people seem a little crazier this time of year. Sheesh!ReplyCancel

  • David Butler - I take it,you have been Christmas shopping.ReplyCancel

  • Ruth Curran - You crack me up! I love that you can skate from hair blowing back in the wind to the devil’s self check out to making change with such ease and grace. Thank you for ending my day with a chuckle!ReplyCancel

  • Salma Dinani Dewji - Lol, this made me laugh. And I totally agree with the self-check out, horrible invention and takes WAY longer!ReplyCancel

  • Lee Gaitan - Hilarious and too true! Love #5–spawn of hell! And re: #4, if you really want to jam an icepick through your brain, try givng them them “the penny” (like if the total is $5.66 and you give them $6.01) and see how long THAT takes them to figure out without the aid of NASA’s computers! PS Do you really still shave your legs? Impressive.ReplyCancel

  • Cary Vaughn - I went down this list going, “yep…yep….fuck yes that, too…”ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Nothing said that isn’t fucking true. And the list could go on and on and….ReplyCancel

  • Sue - Great list Cheryl and it made my day today. Now that I’ve read this I don’t dare go out shopping unless I shave my legs first. Merry Christmas.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I figure if Mrs. Klaus can maintain her personal grooming habits- we all should. ANd a VERY Merry Xmas to you too my friend!ReplyCancel

  • MJM - Ho Ho Hilarious! Knocked it out of the park as always my friend.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Thank YOU! And a VERY Merry Christmas to you my friend!!!ReplyCancel

      My 12 Days Of Christmas When I was little, the kids on the block and I went around the neighborhood and sang Christmas carols willy-nilly. Just for kicks. To bring a little joy. No compensation required.   Last night I opened our front door to a group that sang ONE BAR of […]

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  • Elin Stebbins Waldal - Wow. Christmas caroling with the expectation of being paid? That is honestly depressing. I think my mother just rolled over in her grave.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Oh yes. $$$$ was what they wanted. And they were with an ADULT!!!! EeeGads.ReplyCancel

  • Sheryl - Bowling ball through a garden hose…now that’s one I haven’t heard. Love it! Merry Christmas to you, and may you get everything you want (with the exception of Christmas carols for pay.)ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Am I wrong??? and Jingle to you my friend! All the way!!!ReplyCancel

  • Eve - Who spiked your eggnog or is this normal? LOL Loved it!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Sadly normal. Though ‘normal’ may be debated her among the family.ReplyCancel

  • Tam Warner Minton - Hilarious. Excellent job! I will be singing it this Christmas!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - It’s a bit of a new ‘take’ but I think it may replace the standard.ReplyCancel

  • Diane Tolley - Best Twelve days EVER!!! I especially identify with #4. Oh, please give me that one!ReplyCancel

  • Ellen Dolgen - Hilarious! Let’s hope your true love is reading this!ReplyCancel

  • Bonnie K. Frogma - HA HA HA! Do the maids do windows? 😀

    and i’m up on a ladder…ha!ReplyCancel

  • Carolann Iadarola - lol yep…that’s what folks do these days. Beg for money. I can’t believe he called you the B-word yikes! So much for the holiday spirit lol.ReplyCancel

  • UP Paul D. Brads - Great minds…
    I love this.ReplyCancel

  • Laura Ehlers - Can’t decide if I want the 4 hours of phone pick up or the maids more!! Hope you get the Christmas of your dreams!ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - You had me at 3 French men. I really didn’t want to go any further. Honest. But I did, and and wasn’t disappointed. Oh, I never am….ReplyCancel

  • Wendy Walker Cushing - You my friend are a genius! Take a bow because I’m giving you a standing ovation right now! I absolutely LOVE this and think it needs to be a Christmas special on TV next year!ReplyCancel

  • Katy Kozee - Love this! I missed in your article that the Christmas Carolers were kids! What the what? What kind of values are they learning from that?ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - You wouldn’t believe what’s learned generation after generation here. This is benign by comparison.ReplyCancel

  • Mari Collier - First and Fifth verse definitely caught my interest, although I think I could really use the eighth one if you threw in a yardman or two. Have a Merry and blessed Christmas.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Who among us doesn’t need the first and want the fifth? None of us that’s who! As for the yardman I totally agree and a masseuse would be nice.ReplyCancel

  • Barby - Oh boy could we sing at the top of our lungs!!!! Badly! And the lyrics have changed my friend! Haha. Love it! Falalala
    Xo bReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Ladies & Gentlemen- this is Barby. The one and only. You may all bow now….ReplyCancel

    • barby - when are you coming home????

      Merry Merry to you and yours.

    This may weigh against conventional consensus but… wait for it… wait for it: I liked my mother-n-law.   It could have been tricky as I married her only son, but then again, HE made sure SHE understood their new reality:   “Why don’t you visit anymore?” (Not true btw) “Mom, I travel. When […]

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  • Abby@Midlifecrisisnut.com - Good on you Cheryl! Love your interpretations of dialogs, LOL and toasting a Manhattan with you ladies:) xx AbbyReplyCancel

    • Cheryl Nicholl - Thanks Abby. I’m tipping one back to you as well. Cheers!ReplyCancel

  • Carollynn - Very creative idea for the Christmas tree ornaments for the soon to be newly weds. Would love to see their tree adorned with your gifts. Like you, I adore my MIL – she is a friend as well as family. At 83 she’s see a lot, and is one of the most adventuresome people I know.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl Nicholl - They actually sent me a photo. I’ll have to put the pic up. So cute!ReplyCancel

        I have, in light of recent global events, discovered a tool for emotional survival: Denial, otherwise affectionally known as Hallmark network programming.     I kid you not.     It began, like all massive fairytales, innocently enough:   Turn on the TV, see 128 children have been murdered in their […]

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  • Janie Emaus - I’m addicted, too! There are only a few plots and you know from the first scene who is going to fall in love, who is going to leave who for the guy pretending to be her boyfriend, who is going to become a princess or is one and didn’t know it. So predictable. But exactly what I need right now. I even excited for a new one which I haven’t seen!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I’m with ya sister. ’tis the season of bullshit.ReplyCancel

  • bonnie aldinger - ha, I don’t have a TV but I bet if I did I would be eating these up too, and considering it my guiltiest secret!


    • Cheryl - You seem like a very nice person ( you are HERE after all) but I need to confess something: we have 9 televisions, so you know where my head is at! HA!ReplyCancel

  • Carolann - You are so right! They are all so predictable. I always get annoyed when I’m watching a show where I know exactly what’s going to happen. Maybe, that’s why we like them so much. We can’t predict our own drama so there must be satisfaction in doing so for others.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - That’s it! I know the ending and can always count on it. Very comforting.ReplyCancel

  • Carollynn - We all need a little feel good fantasy in our lives, and a made for Hallmark TV movie is the perfect form of escapism for the world we live in today. Isn’t that what entertainment ultimately is meant to be – a form of escape from our everyday lives? Yes, we need to suspend our disbelief and live in the “it could happen…” world for a just a short time.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I’m so bipolar I’m either watching Hallmark or The Walking Dead. How’s that for a mind spasm?ReplyCancel

  • Lynda@fitnessmomwinecountry - Cheryl, the husband and I got sucked into the Lifetime Movie Network this past week. What? Why? Same concept only with bat shit crazy people. Stalkers, lovers, murder, sex, suspense. Right?
    We checked out of the “world” also LOL, until today, back at it. OR I just put on my Pandora channel Christmas music and leave that on the t.v. all day. Babysitting the merry way 🙂ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I forgot to mention the constant Xmas music I play this time of year- in the house, in the courtyard, in the car. And don’t get me started on the Lifetime Network and all of it’s awesome predictable domestic intrigue wrapped in sex with greed at the center among beautiful people movies. Ben and wil binge watch those after the first of the year!ReplyCancel

  • Sheryl - TV watching can certainly be a great escape from the dire news. Unless, of course, you’re watching something like Homeland, which is a case of life imitating art…ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I lean towards Downton Abby and drool that I wasn’t born a century earlier. Maybe next life?ReplyCancel

  • Stacia Friedman - I have my own TV addictions. For perverse reasons, I love watching Dateline and 48 Hours, reality TV shows that document how seemingly “nice” spouses murder one another. Perhaps I’ve aged out of the Princess dramas or get vicarious pleasure out of knowing that, as a single woman of a certain age, I am unlikely to be the subject of a Prime Time mystery!ReplyCancel

  • Chloe Jeffreys - You always make me laugh. I love your scathing commentary on all that’s fucked up with the world. And so much is.

    I’ve gotten myself addicted to Quantico. Quantico is full of the most beautiful, buff FBI agents in the history of ever. And I think all of them might be terrorists. Doesn’t the FBI vet these people?? Anyway, if this is any indication of the caliber of people the FBI is recruiting these days we’re all screwed. But still. They are awfully pretty to watch.ReplyCancel

  • Lee Gaitan - True confession–I’m mad about the two months of Christmas movies on both Hallmark channels because I accidentally (by way of post-menopausal insomnia) got addictied to watching reruns of…wait for it…don’t laugh and/or gag…Hart to Hart. After a few weeks of nocturnal viewings, I even started watching it on my iPad during the daytime hours! We all need to escape sometimes and pretend life is easy, fair, glamorous and happy. Now, if I could just become one of those self-made millionaires like Jonathan Hart!ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - I’m with you sister. I taped at least 8 of these the past week and watched one with a girlfriend yesterday and one the day before. Also see the movie Brooklyn. Sweet sweet sweet escape!ReplyCancel

  • Helene Cohen Bludman - You are so funny and so spot on. I hate to admit that my secret indulgence is The Bachelor/ Bachelorette. Whether I’m a romantic or a voyeur or both, I’m not sure, but I’m addicted.ReplyCancel

  • Mari Collier - I find those shows (and books like that) annoying. I know, I know, people really do watch them and they are really popular at Christmas time. Are people regretting they didn’t do that?ReplyCancel

  • Estelle Sobel Erasmus - You are hilarious, and need to be cast pronto in Housewives of New Orleans (I love anything Bravo).ReplyCancel

  • Kimberly Montgomery - And THAT is exactly why I don’t have TV. I’d end up grown into my couch with the remote clutched in my boney fingers, piles of used tissues creating a fire hazard . . .
    Kimberly XOReplyCancel

  • Sue Pekarek - You’re hysterical and this is so, so true Cheryl. How did you know I’ve recently been watching Hallmark again as a survival tool.ReplyCancel

  • Diane Tolley - + Carol Said it: Sweet Escape! We need a little bit of it in today’s world . . .ReplyCancel

  • Tammy Bleck - I belive in fairy tales….sometimes. But I believe in you all the time. Nicely done. And thank you for the giggles!ReplyCancel

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