Tag Archives: Humor

  On January 2, late in the afternoon, I found myself surfing *surfing through cable channels. I did not exhibit perfect form *hang ten and nail it *carve the wave. I instead, found myself in *chowder a daze and regretfully stopped on *wiped-out in a *bowl on a channel of *clamshell crap otherwise known as […]

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  • Sheryl Kraft - I definitely do not think Oprah’s message is a negatibve one; she is seeking to improve herself, and admits to her past failures with losing weight. That’s honest, if you ask me.ReplyCancel

  • Amy Abbott - I really wanted to write about the whole issue but I was too busy eating ice cream at the time. Honestly, I don’t understand MHP’s take on this. And honestly I don’t find Oprah on the whole weight thing motivating, and, I find myself screaming at the television. Oprah is rich enough to have George Clooney measure and cook all her food. She’s had a personal trainer; she’s had a cook. If she STILL needs to lose weight, then I might as well hang it up for good. Meanwhile, I’m reading about the shortage of vanilla bean in Madagascar, now that may REALLY impact my life because I really like homestyle vanilla.ReplyCancel

  • Carolann - That woman (Melissa Harris-Perry) is freaking nuts! I swear she is. I can see it in her eyes and her body language. I can’t bear to even listen to her for 30 seconds. I totally agree with you on this. What a nightmare for woman…we just can’t win!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I felt so bad, not just for Oprah, but for us all. I couldn’t believe my ears.ReplyCancel

  • Mari Collier - Why criticize Oprah? She will do what she wants. As far as being perfect, the majority of us are not. So what? Feminist just love to have something to carp about to make the world feel guilty. That last statement from someone who fought to receive the same wage as a man and succeeded.ReplyCancel

  • Mary La Fornara Gutierrez - Why should anyone care??? If Oprah wants to get healthy, good for her! If she wants to encourage others because she knows first hand how difficult it is, good for her! Ms. Harris needs to be her daughter’s role model, it’s not Oprah’s responsibility. As for the people who are judging Oprah for trying again, GET A LIFE!ReplyCancel

  • Diane - I’m not worried about looks. I just care how I feel. Why do we women tear each other down instead of encouraging our sisters to feel their best? It’s a conundrum . . .ReplyCancel

    • Carollynn - Exactly, why do women tear each other down when we need to stick together? Ms. Harris has an opinion, I don’t agree with it, but I support her right to say it.ReplyCancel

      • Cheryl - I support her right, of course, but we can certainly disagree– and I do!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - It’s a conundrum for the ages…… (head shaking)ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - Thanks for weighing in on this. (I couldn’t help it) As a woman with more than a few to lose, it really IS about health at this age. Oprah’s diet failures have been public so I give her credit for trying again.ReplyCancel

  • Lois Alter Mark - Having gone to Australia with Oprah as an Ultimate Viewer, you will never hear me say a negative word about her. She is so inspiring and so genuine, I’m a fan for life.ReplyCancel

  • Laura Ehlers - After seeing the Oprah commercial – in which she speaks to ‘not having a event to get thin for or a special pair of jeans to fit into’ – I think she is doing a good job. No where does she condem her own looks or mention a goal weight. There is negative body image and there is unhealthy body/lifestyle. Two very different things and wanting to improve the later is in no way endorsing the former. (and next time you get ‘stuck in a chowder’ may I suggest a bad sci-fy movie?!!!)ReplyCancel

    As my good friend Cary Vaughn (Writer at the Reluctant Cat Owners Journal– follow if you don’t. You’re welcome) said,   “It was bound to happen”.   SO, aside from all the instant bad stellar information we get from the interwebs, there is also this little thing called ‘virtual friendships’ (I have so […]

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  • Stacia Friedman - Just in time for my last minute holiday shopping!ReplyCancel

  • sherry - Very cute! I would like him to pick me up please.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Alas, he only DELIVERS by golden coach, unless it’s me, then he does my bidding.ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - Yeah, I saw that carriage once. I want it. And I do have some abalone. It turns out. Just not that one.ReplyCancel

  • Tam Warner Minton - Very pretty…I like the delivery vehicle. That’s a shiny metal!ReplyCancel

  • Laura Ehlers - How awesome! And how beautiful! Can’t wait to do a little shopping!!ReplyCancel

  • David Stillwell - um… you are worth it… and by all means worthy…. Not a word on your hardness fetish…ReplyCancel

  • Stacia Friedman - Just in time for my last-minute holiday shopping!ReplyCancel

  • Mari Collier - Goodness, such an honor. You should have been presented with at least one!ReplyCancel

  • Carolann Iadarola - Stunning wowzers. I wish someone would have done the same for me 🙂 I especially am on board with the criteria you set!ReplyCancel

      Remember when you were little and watched Rudolph or Frosty or Miracle on 34th Street and allowed yourself to  believe it was true if only for the season? That the world actually worked that way? That people found salvation with a little help from their friends, or a kind stranger in a […]

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  • Karina -My Letters of Transit - I really enjoyed this post, it had me laughing out loud. You have a great sense of humor, and made some of these all too real and annoying situations more humorous.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Thanks Karina. Humor and annoyance are my stock in trade!ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - The new register drawer. Oh honey. I feel your pain. And why can’t they wipe those carts off? How come the cashier has to pause to read the headline on my Nat’l Inquirer?Am I the ONLY customer who buys them? Surely not! Oh, I have to stop because I just checked into my hotel rm in San Francisco for two days and have to go eat.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Eat? San Francisco? GO. Now. Have one for me!ReplyCancel

  • Lisa at Grandma's Briefs - I know I should shop local, but everything you said here is exactly why I prefer to shop mostly online.

    I, too, wish I could get back the magical feel of the season. I’m trying to focus less on stuff and shopping, though, and that helps a ton.

    May your Christmas be merry and bright despite the knuckleheads you encounter.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Good word “knuckleheads”. That’s what’s all around! You too have a lovely Holiday Season.ReplyCancel

  • Karen D. Austin - I avoid the whole thing by not shopping during the holidays. It’s just too much for me. I guess people can call me Scrooge, but I just can’t deal with things as described above. My best to the brave who go “out there” at this time of year.ReplyCancel

  • Lois Alter Mark - Ha! You couldn’t pay me to go shopping during the holidays. It would make it too easy to hate all of humanity!ReplyCancel

  • Rosalind Warren - “This is not the time of year for exact change.” Amen, sister. Fun piece. It’s funny because it’s ALL true.ReplyCancel

  • Alana Mautone - That is what amazon.com is for. Except I was out there, like an idiot, on Black Friday. Had an encounter with a clerk at CVS that still has me shaking my yead.ReplyCancel

  • Diane Tolley - Yikes! We’ve been in the same lines! Next time, bring a thermos of hot chocolate. I’ll do the same and we can sit and sip and snigger over everyone else in the line. Without ever – you know – getting in the line orselves . . .ReplyCancel

  • Roshni AaMom - I’m with your readers who doesn’t shop during the holidays, but I must say that your post tells me how much entertainment can be derived by just stepping inside a shop and observing!! Maybe I’ll do that next week!! 😉ReplyCancel

  • Katie Knapp Hill - Hahahaha that was hilarious and I could not agree more! My last two Christmas’s have been AWESOME. Nothing like missing the whole nightmare by living on a small Caribbean island for 4-6 months during the winter.ReplyCancel

  • Mari Collier - The joys of shopping online become clearer every year. Yes, indeed. Then there is other lovely part. Most of my receipient of presents want money. Good. I just put the amount I would have spent inside a Christmas card. They are happy and I’m happy. No huge bills arriving after Christmas. Oh, by the way, my view of Christmas as a child was so totally different. It hasn’t changed, but you should have gleaned that from the novel you read. If you are curious, I’ll answer, otherwise just wonder about it.ReplyCancel

  • Cathy Chester - Online shopping is my newest best friend and as much as I love the feel of Christmas since childhood (you try not celebrating it in a town with no Jews!) people seem a little crazier this time of year. Sheesh!ReplyCancel

  • David Butler - I take it,you have been Christmas shopping.ReplyCancel

  • Ruth Curran - You crack me up! I love that you can skate from hair blowing back in the wind to the devil’s self check out to making change with such ease and grace. Thank you for ending my day with a chuckle!ReplyCancel

  • Salma Dinani Dewji - Lol, this made me laugh. And I totally agree with the self-check out, horrible invention and takes WAY longer!ReplyCancel

  • Lee Gaitan - Hilarious and too true! Love #5–spawn of hell! And re: #4, if you really want to jam an icepick through your brain, try givng them them “the penny” (like if the total is $5.66 and you give them $6.01) and see how long THAT takes them to figure out without the aid of NASA’s computers! PS Do you really still shave your legs? Impressive.ReplyCancel

  • Cary Vaughn - I went down this list going, “yep…yep….fuck yes that, too…”ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Nothing said that isn’t fucking true. And the list could go on and on and….ReplyCancel

  • Sue - Great list Cheryl and it made my day today. Now that I’ve read this I don’t dare go out shopping unless I shave my legs first. Merry Christmas.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I figure if Mrs. Klaus can maintain her personal grooming habits- we all should. ANd a VERY Merry Xmas to you too my friend!ReplyCancel

  • MJM - Ho Ho Hilarious! Knocked it out of the park as always my friend.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Thank YOU! And a VERY Merry Christmas to you my friend!!!ReplyCancel

        I have, in light of recent global events, discovered a tool for emotional survival: Denial, otherwise affectionally known as Hallmark network programming.     I kid you not.     It began, like all massive fairytales, innocently enough:   Turn on the TV, see 128 children have been murdered in their […]

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  • Janie Emaus - I’m addicted, too! There are only a few plots and you know from the first scene who is going to fall in love, who is going to leave who for the guy pretending to be her boyfriend, who is going to become a princess or is one and didn’t know it. So predictable. But exactly what I need right now. I even excited for a new one which I haven’t seen!ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I’m with ya sister. ’tis the season of bullshit.ReplyCancel

  • bonnie aldinger - ha, I don’t have a TV but I bet if I did I would be eating these up too, and considering it my guiltiest secret!

    😀ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - You seem like a very nice person ( you are HERE after all) but I need to confess something: we have 9 televisions, so you know where my head is at! HA!ReplyCancel

  • Carolann - You are so right! They are all so predictable. I always get annoyed when I’m watching a show where I know exactly what’s going to happen. Maybe, that’s why we like them so much. We can’t predict our own drama so there must be satisfaction in doing so for others.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - That’s it! I know the ending and can always count on it. Very comforting.ReplyCancel

  • Carollynn - We all need a little feel good fantasy in our lives, and a made for Hallmark TV movie is the perfect form of escapism for the world we live in today. Isn’t that what entertainment ultimately is meant to be – a form of escape from our everyday lives? Yes, we need to suspend our disbelief and live in the “it could happen…” world for a just a short time.ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I’m so bipolar I’m either watching Hallmark or The Walking Dead. How’s that for a mind spasm?ReplyCancel

  • Lynda@fitnessmomwinecountry - Cheryl, the husband and I got sucked into the Lifetime Movie Network this past week. What? Why? Same concept only with bat shit crazy people. Stalkers, lovers, murder, sex, suspense. Right?
    We checked out of the “world” also LOL, until today, back at it. OR I just put on my Pandora channel Christmas music and leave that on the t.v. all day. Babysitting the merry way 🙂ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I forgot to mention the constant Xmas music I play this time of year- in the house, in the courtyard, in the car. And don’t get me started on the Lifetime Network and all of it’s awesome predictable domestic intrigue wrapped in sex with greed at the center among beautiful people movies. Ben and wil binge watch those after the first of the year!ReplyCancel

  • Sheryl - TV watching can certainly be a great escape from the dire news. Unless, of course, you’re watching something like Homeland, which is a case of life imitating art…ReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - I lean towards Downton Abby and drool that I wasn’t born a century earlier. Maybe next life?ReplyCancel

  • Stacia Friedman - I have my own TV addictions. For perverse reasons, I love watching Dateline and 48 Hours, reality TV shows that document how seemingly “nice” spouses murder one another. Perhaps I’ve aged out of the Princess dramas or get vicarious pleasure out of knowing that, as a single woman of a certain age, I am unlikely to be the subject of a Prime Time mystery!ReplyCancel

  • Chloe Jeffreys - You always make me laugh. I love your scathing commentary on all that’s fucked up with the world. And so much is.

    I’ve gotten myself addicted to Quantico. Quantico is full of the most beautiful, buff FBI agents in the history of ever. And I think all of them might be terrorists. Doesn’t the FBI vet these people?? Anyway, if this is any indication of the caliber of people the FBI is recruiting these days we’re all screwed. But still. They are awfully pretty to watch.ReplyCancel

  • Lee Gaitan - True confession–I’m mad about the two months of Christmas movies on both Hallmark channels because I accidentally (by way of post-menopausal insomnia) got addictied to watching reruns of…wait for it…don’t laugh and/or gag…Hart to Hart. After a few weeks of nocturnal viewings, I even started watching it on my iPad during the daytime hours! We all need to escape sometimes and pretend life is easy, fair, glamorous and happy. Now, if I could just become one of those self-made millionaires like Jonathan Hart!ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - I’m with you sister. I taped at least 8 of these the past week and watched one with a girlfriend yesterday and one the day before. Also see the movie Brooklyn. Sweet sweet sweet escape!ReplyCancel

  • Helene Cohen Bludman - You are so funny and so spot on. I hate to admit that my secret indulgence is The Bachelor/ Bachelorette. Whether I’m a romantic or a voyeur or both, I’m not sure, but I’m addicted.ReplyCancel

  • Mari Collier - I find those shows (and books like that) annoying. I know, I know, people really do watch them and they are really popular at Christmas time. Are people regretting they didn’t do that?ReplyCancel

  • Estelle Sobel Erasmus - You are hilarious, and need to be cast pronto in Housewives of New Orleans (I love anything Bravo).ReplyCancel

  • Kimberly Montgomery - And THAT is exactly why I don’t have TV. I’d end up grown into my couch with the remote clutched in my boney fingers, piles of used tissues creating a fire hazard . . .
    Kimberly XOReplyCancel

  • Sue Pekarek - You’re hysterical and this is so, so true Cheryl. How did you know I’ve recently been watching Hallmark again as a survival tool.ReplyCancel

  • Diane Tolley - + Carol Said it: Sweet Escape! We need a little bit of it in today’s world . . .ReplyCancel

  • Tammy Bleck - I belive in fairy tales….sometimes. But I believe in you all the time. Nicely done. And thank you for the giggles!ReplyCancel

    Hello everyone. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas! Ready to blow your brains out? Me too!   So, aside from the absolute certainty that stepping out into the cold wind of consumerism within a contained four walls and a food court is a death wish that will only be […]

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  • Abby@Midlifecrisisnut.com - Outrageously funny! The best ever take on Black Friday:) xx AbbyReplyCancel

    • Cheryl - Why thank you Ms. Abby. You’re a sweetheart!ReplyCancel

  • Karen D. Austin - All my best to you and other shoppers for surviving the madness of the holiday shopping season. Gah!ReplyCancel

  • Brenda Ray Coffee - Love your comment about the perfume… I’m highly allergic. Shopping’s never been my thing, so I’m lucky I’ve gotten good at online shopping.ReplyCancel

  • Carol Cassara - I have never done a Black Friday– all of my shopping is done year round, usually special things I find when we travel or on sale, so I’m done well before Thanksgiving. Don’t hate me!ReplyCancel

  • Kimberly Montgomery - I hate shopping. Just hate it. I have no idea why anyone would set foot in a store on Black Friday. It sounds like they’re going to gas you with that name. Make no sense to me.
    Kimberly XOReplyCancel

  • Laura Ehlers - lol!! I am not a Black Friday shopper but have been known to go out just to run interference…ReplyCancel

  • Mary La Fornara Gutierrez - I refuse to go out on Black Friday. I cant figure out why any one would. At home with a fire going and a Kahula in my hand is my black friday!ReplyCancel

  • Lois Alter Mark - These are great tips but there is no way I would even consider going shopping today! Good luck to you and can’t wait to see your bargains 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Mari Collier - I do not shop on Black Friday. I did look at a couple of things on Amazon, but they had not (gasp) lowered the price on what I was considering. So, I guess you might say I watched my budget and did not burn my money.ReplyCancel

  • Leanne Le Cras - I love Australia! No Thanksgiving, minimal Halloween and no Black Friday shopping (our happens on Boxing Day) Nothing would entice me into the shops during the savagery that I’ve seen displayed on these big sales days!!!ReplyCancel

  • Michelle Poston Combs - Hahahah…this is awesome.ReplyCancel

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